TEST-TUBE BABY TITTYBAT

£22.50

the tittybat is a very new creature to the world of cryptozoology – many people agree that it may or may not exist.

these specimens are sourced from The Fiend Club, who authenticate all tittybat sightings worldwide. you can find them here [link]. i’ve handled a number of these specimens, and will confirm that they are indeed something that could possibly be real – but tbh, they are a pretty weird!

this is s weird species of mammal. their genitals are WAY oversized for such a little creature… just look at the pictures! but a significant portion of the tittybat population are born with a genetic defect leaving them sterile and without reproductive organs. as the great philosopher Donnie Darko once said “What’s the point of living… if you don’t have a dick?“  they do have a cute pink bumhole though, so that’s something i guess…

the tittybat specimens i’ve had in my possession have three distinct colourings – either a natural batty brown, or a much brighter pink & blue, or pink & green .

so, to make things super complicated – when ordering, you must pick a colouring and what kinda genitals (if any!) that you want your testtube critter to have.

EDIT [22 FEB 2018]:  we only have two tittybats currently in stock – the brown variant. i’ve added a photos of the two currently up for grabs. sorry if one you wanted has already been snaffled! we’ll hopefully we will have a full restock in the coming months.

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if you order a test-tube baby tittybat,  this is what you’ll receive:

  • 1 x hand-prepared tittybat foetus specimen
  • lab specimen report  adoption certificate
  • 150mm long glass test tube, with cork bung
  • packing crate

i prepare all specimens personally, with much love. while i try and ensure your tittybat looks like one of those pictured, it is inevitable variations will occur in colour (and way more interesting to have colour variations).  that said, because everything is hand-prepared, it also makes it possible to personalise your order somewhat.  for instance…

  • the adoption certificates are filled-in when the order is received, so you can choose the name of your neverborn baby. (if this isn’t specified, then i’ll pick a name for the critter before sending it to you.)
  • or if you wish the adoption paperwork to match a specific date (such as a birthday) then we can arrange that too.
  • also, if you would like a tittybat with specific colour wings, face, or even genitals then let us know that too. we will check through our freezers of dead babies that are waiting to be processed and endeavour to find one that matches. however, this may require a new specimen to be prepped from scratch – which will add to the delivery time.

in these cases, please contact us before placing your order [link]. whenever possible, we shall accommodate .

thanks, chris z

DISCLAIMER: only unbelievable creatures are harmed to bring you this product.

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Product Description

shipping costs:

uk                       – £5
rest of world  -  £10

these shipping prices are a flat fee charged per order. so buying multiple items will not cost you any extra in delivery – you only pay the shipping charge once per order. all items are sent tracked, and will require a signature upon delivery. we will email you the tracking details once your parcel is shipped.

uk shipping is usually  2/3 working days.
everywhere else is usually 5-10 working days, though can be up to 28 due to customs delays and suchlike.
if there is problem with your order when it arrives, please get in touch here [link]
thanks!

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