‘ it’s much too early, but it’s time to go.. ‘

‘ they say, “it’s full of stars” ‘

this series of drawings are incredibly self-reflective – they’re coming about during a period of mental turmoil when my own perspective of all things is undergoing a significant change. i feel as though they’re all little epiphanies, and by creating the drawing i’m solidifying it as a  personal commandment.

but there  is also an element of narrative storytelling, and an attempt to learn/develop a new artistic style. so while the character in the images is undoubtedly myself, in the images he is setting off on his own journey of self-discovery. i have no plan where this is going, but i suspect that his discoveries and my own real world encounters will be something of a mirror, and each potentially provide momentum and inspiration for the other.

i guess, over time, we shall see where this is all leading..

this one is titled, ‘ikhemu-sek’, which is a term used by the ancient Egyptians – it means ‘the ones not knowing destruction’.

it refers to the northern circumpolar stars, as from their perspective these stars never visibly set below a horizon – they were eternal.

the image is filled with an awful lot of personal symbolism, which i suspect even those close to me would struggle to understand, but it is there nonetheless..

‘the pills that make the magic fade’ [acrylic on A3 canvas]

like the pieces i showed you in the last post, im using these to figure out my own head – and understand how i feel about certain issues. some elements are decipherable, others wouldn’t even be know by those few people who know me well.

not that i imagine anyone would care for a copy of this, or indeed any of the self portrait pieces – but for my own record i upload most all of my work to society6. [link]

following in the vein of ‘the tempest’ piece i wrote about in my last post [link], i’ve wanted to explore a more narrative/storytelling approach with some of my work.

i’ve found the work of chiara bautista [checkout her facebook here] a massive inspiration for this possible direction. so this first sketch and painted version were done with her work in mind..

this attempted style is very new to me, which is why i tried creating it in both digital and painted format — though i don’t feel as though i found my groove with either for this image.

weirdly, one of the issues i felt hindered me on this piece lies in the fact i was attempting to depict my own personal thoughts and feelings about a situation. but this was a private train of thought that i didn’t really want to discuss with my friends/family who follow my art page – so i ended up making using cryptic/symbolic visuals rather than a more direct approach to the subject.

anyway, it was an experiment and useful in itself for a number of reasons; it informed me regarding aesthetic and how willing i am to wear my heart on my sleeve.

the text used in the painting is the start of the phrase, “don’t wish, don’t start. wishing only wounds the heart.” (from Wicked).

this next one is another digital piece…  i’ve titled it “the artefact”, and if i am completely honest it is simply another version of the idea i attempted to illustrate above…

i returned to a more familiar digital style which used in the past. and the male character present is very definitely myself – this would be completely apparent and recognisable to anyone who knows me in real life.

so there’s a little more opening myself up to the world, but at the same time it’s still ambiguous enough that i don’t feel i’m completely spilling my guts to the world at large (or indeed my friends!).

what is incredibly weird though, is how utterly self indulgent it feels to be painting myself – and then showing it off.  i’m really quite shy and introverted, and (hopefully) not particularly prone to narcissistic tendencies.

making these pieces are akin to writing in a diary for me – granted a diary i am waving around allowing anyone to see – but a diary nonetheless. it helps me understand my emotions and deal with the mental struggles i am faced with on a daily basis.

i really dont imagine anyone would actually care what goes on in my life… but i do. so, for the time being i suspect i’ll keep making creating these abstruse reflections of my own life.

checkout more of my work (though less rambles) over on my facebook page [link]